Dementia has devastating consequences on the patient to be sure. But, it’s toll on the caregiver can be just as great especially when they are giving never ending care. Dementia care is extensive and never ending. Some days it’s very hard. Often both patient and caregiver wonder, “Why, why am I here?” They may try and make light of it as best they can. Although a caregiver may work outside of the home, they still must manage daily care for the person with dementia. They bathe their relative, help them in the bathroom, cook for the relative and manage the medicine. But, it’s as if the caretaker’s life is not their own. It is hard. Naturally, the caretaker would like to go do things that other people might do, such as shopping and traveling. But the caregiver can’t do much of that anymore. Even if the family is fortunate enough to have the financial and emotional support of other family members, they will still have to arrange for outside help several days a week. People who partner with caregivers say that’s the only way to survive it. It takes a toll on your body and your body will send out signals and those signals will lead to behavioral or emotional or physical stress that can affect who you are and what you are doing. Caregivers are at great risk of burnout which include social withdraw and irritability and health problems. To make time for themselves to get adequate sleep. The job of caring for dementia patient is a never ending, lonely task, especially as the disease progresses. Patience. A lot of patience. Dealing with personal care stuff. And — it’s hard. There are accidents sometimes and the caregiver has no choice but to just suck it up and do it.
Many families struggle with the issues of care for dementia patients. If you are looking for ways to deal with caregiver stress, I’ve posted tips for you on my Facebook page, Atlanta Personal Family Lawyer and WRNichols Law.
As Bill Mahr humorously, but perhaps, ineloquently stated as a “New Rule” last Friday night on his HBO show “Real Time,” the feds have been investigating the rising costs for durable medical equipment to see if certain types of equipment should be added to the competitive bidding list. Enter the swelling controversy surrounding the penis pump, more formally known as the “vacuum erection system.” Over the five-six year period between 2006-2011, Medicare paid an average of $451 per pump. That left a $90 co-pay per patient with Medicare picking up the remaining 80%. Comparatively, the VA paid only $186 for each device. And, is anyone surprised that any average shopper could find less expensive pumps online? Medicare purchased 473,000 pumps over the period investigated. Predictably, there is controversy underlying adding these devices to the competitive bidding program, as many conservative groups argue that these expenditures are wasteful and detract from true “health” related expenditures.
But, perhaps we shouldn’t jump past the “health” aspects of sex so cavalierly. Sure, in 2006 Congress barred medications like Viagra from being covered under Medicare Part D, the bill’s sponsor stating he didn’t want to have taxpayers subsidizing “grandpa’s recreational sex.” But, there is a larger bias here that is arguably being overlooked: the health aspects of sex in any adult human’s life. The clear bias exists that seniors are, or should be, asexual. Yet, how is that any different from the argument against younger, college age women who many on the left have argued should be insured for birth control pills. It seems at some base level, Americans are just prudish at worst or giggling adolescents in general when it comes to a healthy discussion about human sexuality. Is sex really just to procreate? Recent studies say no and that more than half of men and 40% of women over age 65 are sexually active.
So, at least one author urges that we just insist that Medicare not get ripped off by price-gouging device suppliers and continue to cover the devices, perhaps as well Viagra and then the discussion will shift to condoms and safe sex and STD control for seniors as well as the general population. This all in the name of health and to avoid “ageism.” At some point, we all must address the limits the system can bear and the “Pentagon-Contractor” nature of the abuse and over-charging that is a huge source of the problems. One thing is for sure, as millions of Baby-Boomers age into retirement, “No-Sex for Grandpa” rules probably are not going to work.
Following are five suggestions that may help elderly family members better enjoy the holiday festivities when all the younger family members are stirring up a ruckus celebration:
1. Prevent your elderly family members suffering from dementia from too much excitement or things like camera flashes, multiple blinking lights, over-exhuberant youngsters asking too many questions and generally just too many simultaneous visitors. Their own inability to process information at the same pace can lead to frustration and disruptive behavior on their part in response.
2. Try to help the elderly stay in a good frame of mind by playing softer music and familiar songs to soothe their mood(s). Perhaps predictably, those suffering from various forms of cognitive impairment, such as Alzheimer’s or other dementia, have shown positive reactions to hearing their favorite kind of music.
3. Protect your aging parent with dementia from loud noises, even loud talking and laughter that seem part of a normal day of celebration. A person with dementia can become upset by loud noises, even if they are happy sounds.
4. Like most of us, but especially those elderly suffering from cognitive impairment, need quiet time, for rest, reflection and repose. Too much conversation and holiday excitement among family members can agitate the elder. Subtle signs of fatigue or frustration are indicators that a break from the action is appropriate for them.
5. Stay on their current schedule. Keep the elderly family member(s) eating at that same times that they always do. Otherwise, disrupting their routine could create unnecessary stress or confusion.
Our thanks to Dr. Mikol Davis at http://agingparents.com for this information.